It has been a Year.

We all have those special days when we take a moment cast a long look at the past and contemplate the good and some "could have been better" experiences. I believe that birthdays, wedding anniversary, date of a death, New Years Day and Easter are common among most of us. To a cancer survivor we have a few more that we would gladly give up. For some it is the Day of Diagnosis, often recalled with a sense of loss and grieving  for cancer treatments rob you of your plans for the next few months or years. Others it is the Last Day of Treatment, often though of with joy and celebration because you don't have to have any more. But more often leaves another sense of loss for what has become the "normal process or routine" is now disrupted. For Transplant Survivors they have two birthdays. One to celebrate first breath and the second to celebrate new marrow. A beginning of a new way of life sometimes, it is not an easy move from treatment to survivor. 

For me December 20th will be acknowledged with a sense of loss and courage. Loss for all that I had planed that never happened, camping, fishing, hikes and walks along the beach. Courage because that is something every survivor has whether we know it or not when we hear those fateful words. Another important date for me is March 29th. The last radiation treatment and the beginning of healing. Healing is an interesting process.  It takes a short time to make us sick, with in hours of your first Chemo treatment your body is damaged and begins the process of  healing. The reason Chemo and Radiation work is because the body's healthy cells can repair, the cancer can not. The challenge of healing is that it takes a very long time. Depending on your state of vitality at the time of injury or damage will make a difference on just how long that time is. 

There is the healing that your body parts have to do and then there is the healing that our soul and emotions must do. This time of year I get to do some healing of my soul and emotions. I get to promote the Race For the Cure and the life saving work that the amazing men and woman at Komen Idaho do every day. I have recorded my radio spot and will do a live radio show April 10th at 9:30 am on 107.9 with Lisa Adams.

We have all been touched by cancer in some manner either ourselves, a family member, a friend, co-worker or a friend of a friend. WE all want to support our those we know and the cause connected to them. I am no different. I want every one I know to register for the Komen Race for the Cure under Clan of Marie Team to support the mission that saved my life. But more important is that you do something. If it is not for Race for the Cure, then it is Relay for Life, or Walk MS on April 20th in Boise.

Today was a challenging day emotionally and mentally two brain therapy sessions, an hour us wait at health and welfare, and good Friday.  Take a moment to reflect what are your days of reflection and planning.
  

Why I Race

Hello Clan of Marie,
     I was asked the other day "What is the Clan of Marie?" my response is simple, if you have ever shared a positive thought, sent a prayer or wished for something good for me, then you belong to this courageous group of people that I call the Clan of Marie.
      At this time you are all part of something bigger than me...bigger than breast cancer or the treatments of cancer. You are a part of hope and life. I realized that at times we do not know the impact of our actions. The ability to pay your registration fee and any additional contribution you can make allows for a person to have the procedures done that either saves her life or provides gas to her treatments, best of all it provides funds for people so that they can sleep at night....when you are worried about your health and you do not have insurance, you do not sleep well. Often we go with out seeking medical treatment because we can't pay, we don't get preventive care because we can't pay.
     I race because I can.
I am here because of the generosity of others. I don't have a lot...but what I do have is a voice, an experiences and Clan that have carried me through a lot in the last 14 months. My goal this year is to run the 5k. Last years goal was to finish. I did...I believe I was the last survivor off the course...but I did it. I had contingent plans at several locations along the course in case I could not finish. I am grateful that did not have to use any of those plans. What is your race goal? not sure... well then...I ask you "Why do you race?" and if you do not have an answer then ask your self "Why don't I race?"

Register today: www.komenidaho.org Team Name: Clan of Marie

Change in roles

As I get closer and closer to the age of whatever is next I am struck by how we change roles with our parents.  Now that is a profound statement. Ok here is the real story. The last three weeks I have seen a very large change in rolls for my mother. We were at the doctor’s office; I was standing in the hallway by the rest room in case she needed me.  As I stand there I was struck by knowledge that it was 40 some years ago that she would have been standing outside the restroom door, in case I needed her.  This was the beginning of my mom needing me in a very different way. 

We went from the doctor office to St. Luke’s emergency room. After the contrast CT scan Mom went to the OR. Dr. Barresi removed a section of her small intestine that had attached to her abdominal wall.  At 2:30 am Dr. Barresi visited with me about what he had done and some of the challenges that we have in front of us. It was an informative early morning visit, the first of many.

Abdominal surgery is never fun or easy recovery. Mom was in the hospital for 10 days. Her intestines took a long time to respond and work. They are still not working correctly. Her incision is not healing correctly and we will be going to the Elk’s Wound Center Monday morning so they can work the magic needed to close her up. I was privileged to see inside my mom’s belly. Not something a techie/chef gets to do very often.  Dr. Barresi and his student Clayton explained what I was looking at and what would happen at the Elk’s.  It was Awesome!

I am looking forward to the process Monday morning when they use a negative pressure wound therapy.

It is about 365

     As we close the month of awareness for many causes, Gluten free, Autism, and Breast Cancer just to name some that are close to my heart. Please know that those who are affected are impacted every day, 365 not just the 31 of October. If you have not had the correct cancer screenings for your age and genetic group please make that appointment today. If you do not have insurance or your insurance does not cover the test then ask for assistance. Breast Cancer is not the only cancer that has awesome assistance programs.
    In this month I have shared in the experience of the highest emotions of  Kip’s remission and the lowest as Brenda was taken from us at the young age of 48. Her body was ravaged by cancer but her soul shines bright guiding the rest of to a better way of life.
    Much is to be said for awareness, early detection and curative treatments, they save lives. I will take this time to share a bit of insight on surviving treatment and prevention. Kip was diagnosed with Leukemia when he was healthy and doing most of the right things food and exercise. There are not many external controllable risk factors for blood cancers. During treatment Kip set new markers for positive responses and reduced side effects. He maintained his dedication to good eating and exercise often to the point of embarrassing his medical team. Today Kip is in full remission and enjoying each new day as the gift it is. Being physically, mentally and spiritually healthy made a positive impact on Kip's treatment outcomes.
     Brenda was diagnosed at a time when she was not at her best physically. Brenda’s mental and spiritual healthiness is testament that you can remain positive and a beacon of hope when things are not going the way you wanted. Uterine cancer has some controllable external risk factors, same as my breast cancer. Brenda’s treatment outcomes were not what any of us expected or wanted. 4 months for surgery to remove her cancer she is dead. I miss her deeply. Please know that her death carries a message to me and you. Get healthy. Get off the typical American food plan; get off your butts and move, get in tune with yourself. Listen to when you feel good and when you don’t take action when you don’t. Know your controllable risk factors and control them.
     Some cancers or diseases are not preventable but your state of being will make a difference on how you respond to treatment. I know now that I may have been able to prevent my cancer. If I had not smoked for 20+ years, used artificial birth control, I should have had a child before age 30 and had been able to breastfeed for more than a month, if I had maintained my ideal weight and had been exercising on a regular basis. All of the above may or may not have prevented my cancer; however I did not take right steps to prevent. I want all of you to know that now is the time to make a difference in your life and the life of others. Know your factors and make the changes.
     I have shared my cancer story so that other women will know that there is help and resources available. I will continue to share my story so that more women will not die from cancer but will get the screenings, no excuses. I will also lend my voice to prevention. I have started exercising daily and must say I wish I had made this change 35 years ago. Even as I recover from another surgery this year I know that my daily walks are making a difference in my recovery. Now is the time, no excuses.
     This is a new blog spot, so yes it looks different than the other site. Give me some time to add some good and coolness to the new spot.
As always thanks for reading and supporting me in my journey.
Clan of Marie is strong and getting healthy.